{a late Christmas}

A peek into our house at Christmastime!

This was our first Christmas together! We have enjoyed establishing traditions in the Brotsky household, one of which is setting up the tree the day after Thanksgiving!

I also tried my hand at making a wreath for our front door...

We went to the Nutcracker (Matt's first time!)... This is us after the performance.

Our cozy house from the outside.

Merry late Christmas!

{I Know}

This is how I know I love you.

I know I love you because I want to get you soup and green tea when you're sick. Not only do I want to get soup and green tea for you, I want to make soup and green tea for you out of love and lovely ingredients.

I know I love you because I want you to eat healthy foods even when you're not sick. I love you enough to tell you exactly why THAT is bad for you and THIS is better for you. And then I'll talk about it much longer than necessary because I want you to know I care what goes into your body.

I know I love you because I worry about the stuff people who love you worry about. Like the amount of sleep you're getting or how fast you drive (was he buckled up? I hope he doesn't text while driving) or if you're getting enough vitamin B. Also, whether or not you check your mailbox or eat real butter.

I know I love you because I want to listen to you talk. Really listen. Everything else can wait because you are special to me and what you say is important. It doesn't matter if we've already talked about it 18 times already, we'll talk about it 4 more times and that's ok because I want to know what's on your mind and on your heart. Your thoughts are important and I value them.

I know I love you because I'm proud of you. Not just proud, but heart-swelling, full out grin on my face proud. Like, "That's MY man. That's who he is and what he does and how he lives." I am proud to stand with you, proud to walk alongside you.  Proud to be known to be with you. Proud to point across the room at you and say,"That's him." And not even try to wipe the smile off of my face.

I know I love you because I can't imagine spending life without you. I can't imagine not holding hands the way we do, or saying, "Ciao, baby" instead of goodbye.  I love you because you are the man of my dreams and I want to be by your side always.

This, I know.

{Hey, I'm Beautiful!}

I used to be a desert. I was all dried up and barren. A very parched soul and heart, with not much feeling, not much emotion. I was so dry that I didn't even know I needed water. (Insert significant nod to Dekker's Horde.) I had become used to my barren heart. And I was very content with it, thank you. When presented with Water, I wanted nothing to do with it. (Again, Scab-like) Why would Someone want to pour out waters of refreshing on me? I guarantee there was nothing special about me; I was not worth making a fuss over, please don't waste your time on me, nothing good can come out of my dusty, dry heart.

Could all that is lost ever be found, Could a garden come up from this ground at all?


"Wake up, O Sleeper! Rise from the dead and Christ will shine upon you!" (Eph. 5:14)

 I had a wake up call. It was time to be raised from the death I was slowly dying, inside and outside. Louie Giglio via Passion 2012 via streaming online via a reminder from a friend very pointedly and directly yelled out during his sermon to, "WAKE UP! YOU ARE DYING!" My heart skipped a beat. I wasn't paying much attention up until this point.  He was explaining a miracle of Jesus in the gospel of Luke. Jesus was headed into the town of Nain where a funeral was taking place. Death was in the air. Not only had a widow lost her husband, she had lost her son as well. This woman had no reason or interest to continue living anymore. Her heart was all dried up. Her heart was broken and I related with this woman. I'm sure she had many sleepless nights. She probably didn't eat much. Or talk much. I knew. I know. She was dying, too. Me too.

You make beautiful things out of the dust

Nain means 'beautiful pasture'. Jesus came into this once beautiful, lush way of life and cleared the dust and death and despair. He restored life not only back into the widow's son but also into the widow's heart. In fact, He went to the widow immediately and told her not to weep.

I didn't want to hurt anymore. Actually, I wanted to feel something other than pain. I wanted to feel safe and I wanted to live again. Jesus gently, ever so gently, watered my heart, softened my heart. Tended to my garden and is cultivating my heart to become a beautiful pasture. 

All around hope is springing up from this old ground Out of chaos life is being found in You

Gardens take time. My garden is being weeded and watered and nourished. I want my life to be fruitful. I want to be Nain, a beautiful pasture.

You make me new, You are making me new You make me new, You are making me new

You make beautiful thingsYou make beautiful things out of us



(Lyrics from 'Beautiful Things' by Gungor)
x

{A Quiver Full}

"You have five brothers? And you're the only girl? YOU POOR THING."

There are few things that thoroughly frustrate me. One would be the ever occurring reference to my 'youthful looks'. I don't look my 25 years and frequently get mistaken for a high schooler, or asked what my plans for college look like. This one has taken me years to formulate a gracious response to, when disclosing my actual age. The only upside to this situation is seeing the looks of surprise on faces. It's almost worth it. Almost.

Most recently is the reference to my band of brothers and the assumption that I am absolutely miserable being the only female and have barely made it thus far without breaking down, or turning into a 'boyish girl', or being treated as 'one of the guys'. Be it known: this is furthest from the truth.

I dearly love my brothers and they dearly love me. I am treated as a lady and with great respect. I've never been consider by them as 'one of the guys', but rather as a welcome addition.

My five brothers protect, defend and watch out for me. Actually, to the point of frustration. Actually, it's sweet.

I would rather spend time with my brothers than anyone else. All five of them have a subtle, sarcastic sense of humor and are intellectually strong. They're all brilliant (no, really). I mean, who wouldn't want to hang out with guys like that?

Each one loves the Lord with their whole heart and strives to honor Him with their lives. They are theologically sound; they know their Scripture and they know their Savior.

One guy is a God-honoring lawyer in the making; one is a happily married photographer and IT extraordinaire. One fellow is a mathematical genius and musician with some theological know up his sleeve. Another is a quiet strength that leads by example and another is the sweetest all-American, tried and true, patriotic Boy Scout you'll ever meet.

I am not a POOR THING by any means. I am a RICH WOMAN and am proud of all five of my men.

"Sons are a heritage from the Lord; children are a reward from Him. Like arrows in the hand of the warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man who's quiver is full of them. They will not be ashamed when the contend with their enemies in the gate." Psalms 127:3-5

(note: a 'quiver full' is five arrows!)